


Accoutrements

by DaisyFairy



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Brothers, First Kiss, I'm not sure how to tag this, M/M, Mary is dead, Mentions of Sex, not between Mycroft and Sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 10:13:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14399985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyFairy/pseuds/DaisyFairy
Summary: Mary is dead, Sherlock is living alone, but is that about to change? Mycroft has noticed some purchases that John recently made and is eager to tell Sherlock what it all means.





	Accoutrements

**Author's Note:**

> This is my 100th work on AO3, I can't believe it. Thank you to everyone who has ever read, kudosed, or commented on any of my fics, doing this is seriously the most fun I've ever had :-)

Sherlock and Mycroft stand at the windows of 221B looking casually out over Baker Street, Mycroft flicks his eyes over to Sherlock then says, “I hear Doctor Watson has been shopping.”

Sherlock sighs with exasperation, “Yes. Why is that any of your business?”

“Me? It wasn’t me following him around hiding behind displays of toilet roll like a stalker. Anyway, it was actually the items that he bought that caught my attention.”

Sherlock refuses to look at his brother, “The depths of your tedium never fail to astound me.”

“Rather interesting purchases don’t you think?”

Sherlock waits silently for the inevitable, not wanting to give his brother the satisfaction of getting a response.

After a few seconds pause Mycroft does indeed continue, still in the same deadpan tone he has used for the rest of the conversation, “He was buying condoms and lubrication gel.”

Sherlock snorts, “You are so puritanical.”

Mycroft raises an eyebrow, “An unusual purchase for a newly widowed man with no signs of dating.”

When Sherlock doesn’t respond Mycroft continues, “He’s going to make his move. You know he is.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, they are obviously for personal use.”

Mycroft purses his lips in fake contemplation, “He’s managed so far without such accoutrements.”

“Of course you and your big nose would know that. It means nothing. He's obviously just trying out something new.”

Mycroft turns away from the window and narrows his eyes in frustration, “Why are you being so obtuse? It is perfectly obvious. Shopping yesterday on his lunch break. Work at the surgery today, he has told you before he has few appointments on Wednesday afternoons so will ask to leave early while Rosemund is still at childcare. I estimate he will be here any minute, ah, there he is now.”

The brothers watch as John climbs out of a cab and then pauses on the pavement outside.

“What was it you said about oscillation on the pavement?” Mycroft enquires with faux innocence.

“Shut up!” Sherlock snaps back hurriedly attempting to straighten a drift of folders that are covering the desk, chair and floor into a coherent pile and sneaking another glance out of the window.

Mycroft peers down at the street below, exaggeratedly tilting his head for effect. “It looks like he’s leaving, no, coming back...leaving, and back again. So Sherlock, in your expert opinion, does the level of oscillation correspond to the importance of the affaire de coeur or is it more to do with how desperate Doctor Watson is to ‘get some'?”

“Will you please shut up.” Sherlock growls through gritted teeth as he gathers up mugs and plates from around the room.

“I’d be focussing on tidying your bedroom if I were you.” Mycroft supplies with a smirk.

Sherlock glares at him then disappears into the kitchen with the crockery and reappears moments later with a plastic bin bag that he starts shoving things into.

Mycroft turns back to the window, “Interesting. He’s leaning against the lamppost now, head hanging, looks rather defeated if you ask me. You might want to put him out of his misery before he gives up and leaves.”

“What would you know about it? You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Sherlock asks, virtually vibrating with nervousness and still attempting to tidy the accumulated mess of the last few months of neglect away.”

Sherlock pushes past Mycroft to get to a pile of empty lighters on the windowsill causing Mycroft to wrinkle his nose.

“Instead of the flat you might want to spend these few minutes remaining cleansing yourself, I believe it is your body Dr Watson will be most interested in and it is presently rather pungent. Oh look, he is suddenly looking much more determined, shoulders set, head raised, looking towards the door with purpose. Oh, and checking his pockets, presumably for the supplies purchased yesterday.”

Sherlock growls and flies into the bathroom tearing his clothes off as he goes. The sound of water running can be heard in the lounge as Mycroft saunters over to the bathroom door and leans against it.

Mycroft calls through the door gleefully, “You might want to take special measures Sherlock, if you are going to be fucked, you probably want to do so without the introduction of faeces to the proceedings.”

A kind of spluttering choking noise can be heard from the shower, then Sherlock shouts back indignantly, “That’s disgusting, shut up!”

Mycroft tries to hold back a grin as he whisper shouts through the door, “Ah, he’s opening the street door now, just a few seconds and he’ll be here. I suggest you get to the fucking straight away before the two of you talk yourselves out of it. You’ll feel much more relaxed for the necessary conversation post orgasm I assure you.” 

The door to the flat opens quietly and completely unnoticed as the bathroom door slams open and Sherlock stands there naked and dripping wet panting furiously as he screams into Mycroft’s face “Shut up, shut up, shut up! Why would I want advice about fucking and faeces and relationships from you? You’re just as crap at all of that as I am. John’s going to be here any second. If he does fuck me as soon as he walks through the door it won’t be because you told me to do it, it’ll be because I want him to.”

Mycroft turns his head towards the door to the flat, “Excellent, he appears to be here already. Have fun brother.” He wiggles his fingers in a parting wave and smirks as he vanishes back into Sherlock’s mind palace.

John stares bemused at the sight of a bedraggled and entirely nude Sherlock. The fact that he had just been screaming at what appears to an empty room was unusual but not unprecedented, but the content of the screaming was...well. He takes a deep breath and tries to sound nonchalant.

“Um, I did think we’d probably do a bit of talking before, if, we got around to anything like that, but...you want me to?”

Sherlock screws up his eyes and covers his face with his hands in mortification, then belatedly remembers about his nudity and instead covers his groin with his hands instead.

“Um....” now that John is here that seems about the limit of Sherlock’s vocabulary.

John stalks forward, biting his lip and letting his eyes blatantly roam up and down Sherlock’s body.

“Who were you talking to just then?”

Sherlock’s eyes flick up and down and then he mumbles his answer, “Mycroft.”

John laughs, “OK you mad git.” He licks his lips lasciviously, “So, you’re eager to get straight down to it? Who am I to argue? As long as you understand that there is a conversation to be had later, and that this isn’t just about the sex.”

Sherlock nods and John steps closer, he rests one hand on Sherlock’s shoulder and wraps the other around his waist, drawing him in for a kiss and completely ignoring the way water seeps into his clothes as their bodies touch.

The kiss lasts a few seconds then Sherlock jerks back pulling out of Johns arms.

“Okay?” John asks drawing his eyebrows down and with a slight frown.

“Yes. Yes. Fine. Just, wait here. Mycroft’s an annoying prick but he was right about one thing. Go make tea or something, I'll be out in a few minutes.”

Sherlock slams the bathroom door and the watery sounds of the shower start up again leaving John in the lounge damp and giggling to himself. He continues to giggle as he switches the kettle on and wonders why he ever thought this would go any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading you lovely people :-)
> 
> I hope this little thing made sense, I've been fiddling with it for ages and decided to just publish it (and sorry about the title, I hate doing those).


End file.
